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The Monster yelled "BOO!" to give Mary a scare,
But Mary just fixed the great Beast with a stare.
She looked up and down from his toes to his hair
With total disdain while the Monster stood there.
"Why!" asked the Monster "You show me no fear!?"
"Have you looked in the mirror? You're just SOOO last year!
Your tail isn't bad, but is there a reason...
For sporting those horns, which are just SOOO last season?
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The Monster was stunned. At a loss what to say.
His prey wasn't screaming or running away!
He wasn't accustomed to such a response,
He was used to HYSTERICS not pert nonchalance.
But Mary stayed poised as a lady should be,
She displayed no attempt or desire to flee.
She turned on the light so that he could see clearer
And showed the big Monster his FACE in the mirror.
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He gawked for a while at his wretched reflection
He winced at his wrinkled and withered complexion.
"My skin feels like leather, I have crusty eyes!"
"What did you expect when you don't moisturize?"
"My nails are all broken! My teeth are all yellow!
My fur is in clumps!" He let out a BELLOW!
"My horns are askew and my coat is molting."
He started to sob... "I am... truly... revolting!"
"Come on now don't cry." Said Little Miss Mary.
"You DO have a choice, you don't HAVE to be scary!
Behind that snarl and that piercing stare,
You're just a big softy - a HUGE teddy-bear!"
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But the big hairy Monster was not quite as certain -
Embarrassed he wrapped himself up in a curtain
And told Little Mary that with-out a doubt,
He's a HIDEOUS creature and he'll NEVER come out.
Miss Mary agreed: "You are ugly for sure,
But it's something you really don't have to endure.
So you haven't been blessed with the best of genetics;
Who needs Mother Nature, when we have cosmetics!?
For each of your problems you'll find there's a cure
From a deep cleansing facial to a French pedicure.
To NUMEROUS methods for rogue hair removal
So what do you say? Do I have your approval?
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Would you like to be pampered and fashioned and styled?
MADE-OVER BY MARY?" - The big Monster smiled.
"I can tell from that smile that it's been quite a while
Since you've seen a toothbrush, or have used a nail-file.
And I sense from your stench, or at least I presume,
That you're also a stranger to soap and perfume."
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While Little Miss Mary stood pinching her nose
The big Monster blushed from his head to his toes.
"Don't worry" said Mary "We'll give you a shower
We'll soak you and clean you, we'll scrub and we'll scour.
We'll cleanse and we'll tone, we'll wax and we'll pluck,
We'll snip and we'll peel, we'll nip and we'll tuck!
If you want to look pretty you're on the right path.
Lets start with the basics... You're having a bath!"
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